I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
