he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
