Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
