In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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