we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
