i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
