Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
