Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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