How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
