Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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