We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
