will power is for people who don't want to get laid
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
