There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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