They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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