I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
