I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
