Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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