she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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