after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
