your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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