But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize