aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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