Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
