It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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