I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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