I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
