Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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