What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
