I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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