Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize