theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
