Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
