What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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