you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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