I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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