i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
