what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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