There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"