found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
