I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
