Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Houston, we have a squirter
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
