Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
