I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
