he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
