i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
