i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
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Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
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possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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