I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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