I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
