The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
