Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
