I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize