i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
