My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
