Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
grandma shit on top of the toilet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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