I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
