I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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